... A lot of people like you, for some reason. You don't really get why.
It isn't like it saved you.) ]
... Just make sure it doesn't happen again. Evidence like what we had... isn't concrete enough. Um. It's easy to make mistakes with, I mean. Just because of coincidence.
Not really. I get it. We don't know... what'll happen if we don't choose anyone, or if we all tie up. Unknowns are worse than knowns.
[ At least with sentencing one, they avoided one being sentenced at random. That sounds like something "fun".
Siffrin's voice lowers, but it's still... the same soft-spoken neutrality they've been carrying this conversation. Almost weather-talkish. ]
I'm angrier that no one came forward with the truth. That they watched the whole thing, and they'll be watching tomorrow, too. Though... self-defense doesn't make someone "guilty" either, so we'd still have a hard decision in the end.
[ (...
Except you would still be able to save your family members. Spend time with your friends. Enjoy the company of...
Beneath the Favor Tree. You wonder if the Universe listened, or if it watched you like it always does.
...
What would you wish for? What did you then...
It's still the same, you guess. It always will be.) ]
... To be able to stay with my family members. Beyond our journey together. But wishes just give you the means, it doesn't actually make them real. You still put in the effort.
[ So there's no telling how that wish would've shaped out!!! ]
[He thinks of the Mole Troupe. Ah, how he remembers it. The ever-gloomy Falsch, trying to grasp that beautiful image of the past.]
I know how that feels.
[He left the Troupe, too. They all did. They all had to.]
...An actor I met. He lived in the darkness. In the underground, more specifically. He used to be part of a group...the Mole Troupe. But one day, it all felt apart. And all he wanted...was to reunite them all once again. To have his Mole Troupe on that stage. He thought he was abandoned, and he tried to put together his Troupe with people he found...like me.
You understand this Falsch very much. Your throat is tight, and you don't want to hear anything else. All you want... is to stay with them. Is that too much to ask? To be together?
To never be alone again?) ]
... Did you have fun? In his troupe.
[ (Why is always an actor? Because you're all so, so good at being someone that others want to be around? Because you can pretend to be good, to be selfless, to be kind and considerate when really-- really you're selfish and disgusting and a monster, a monster that monsters run from, one they don't see as human because how could you be if you have nothing that proves you are.) ]
We went our separate ways after our single and only performance.
[He wasn't very good. They all weren't very good, save for Falsch, really, and he already had the experience. But that wasn't the point, he thinks. He may know much, but even he knows the worth of something isn't measured in how many people clapped.]
[He smiles, warmly.]
But I look back on it, and...I was happy. And I was happy to be part of it. Even if it didn't last forever.
That's good. Acting's a lot of fun, though I've always been more of the audience than on stage myself.
[ Siffrin watches his reflection in the mirror. Wonders what everyone else sees, to make them speak so kindly. To miss him. To want to apologize, to say he doesn't deserve it.
It must be fun to be the audience. You get to see so many stories.
[Good and bad. By wonderful actors and horrible ones. There must be something to it. He always felt like more like the audience. Everyone else plays out their lives.]
[He's catching up. He didn't find that prism-color performance, yet.]
Mm, him? He's a drunkard, and a man doing whatever job he could. Even strange things. I'm sure he returned to that, but... [But. He thinks about it for a moment.] From our belowground experience...I think he got what he wanted. He had a play, you see. Now he knows what to do with it. He can be above ground, now. In the light.
Well, I hope the same will be for you. That you will see the-
[But that's right.]
[He won't do that.]
[Something crumples in his face with a noise in his throat, and he doesn't continue. How awful. He never thought about it. He didn't want to. And now, being reminded of it, it just makes him feel sick.]
You know... I'm pretty hard to get rid of. The King was angry too, that time and time again I was the reason he never succeeded.
[ It was funny. It didn't end up being too funny, but at the moment (you felt so powerful). ]
Chara thinks that I'll come back somehow. We all will. Because The Witch doesn't have a need to permanently kill us off, if he's looking to draw on our feelings -- that's a waste of resources. [ ... ] I probably won't see you again, or at least not for a while... but I won't be gone forever. Probably.
[ It's only a theory. And it might do more harm than good, but...
... Siffrin doesn't like the way that Sariel looks, right now. Feels helpless to do anything but parrot the words of a peer. Someone who's been through what they have, who they trust. ]
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
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... A lot of people like you, for some reason. You don't really get why.
It isn't like it saved you.) ]
... Just make sure it doesn't happen again. Evidence like what we had... isn't concrete enough. Um. It's easy to make mistakes with, I mean. Just because of coincidence.
no subject
[Sariel nods, a little morose.]
Are you mad at them? Your friends and everyone who...went along with it.
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[ At least with sentencing one, they avoided one being sentenced at random. That sounds like something "fun".
Siffrin's voice lowers, but it's still... the same soft-spoken neutrality they've been carrying this conversation. Almost weather-talkish. ]
I'm angrier that no one came forward with the truth. That they watched the whole thing, and they'll be watching tomorrow, too. Though... self-defense doesn't make someone "guilty" either, so we'd still have a hard decision in the end.
[ (...
Except you would still be able to save your family members. Spend time with your friends. Enjoy the company of...
Well. None of that matters now.) ]
no subject
[That's right. There is a true killer. And they didn't step forward. They let this happen. They let Siffrin take the fall.]
[His hands clench and unclench, jaw a little tight.]
Do you want me to find out who did it?
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... If it'll make you feel better. I don't mind if they live with guilt eating at their heart, though.
[ ... ]
I still... don't feel like it was a one person job, either. [ They'd said as much at the carnival. ] So... I guess that might make it easier, if so.
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[...]
So two people can get wishes...at the death of another.
[Selfish. Selfish. As if he hadn't considered it for a second, at least just the idea of a wish, to find the rainbow, and...]
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... ]
I wonder if I count as one of them. Or if it's just her.
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[Too much work. Effort.]
If you...had a wish. What would it have been?
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Beneath the Favor Tree. You wonder if the Universe listened, or if it watched you like it always does.
...
What would you wish for? What did you then...
It's still the same, you guess. It always will be.) ]
... To be able to stay with my family members. Beyond our journey together. But wishes just give you the means, it doesn't actually make them real. You still put in the effort.
[ So there's no telling how that wish would've shaped out!!! ]
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[It's hard to think about it. It's hard to think about a lot of things.]
[He would want to find the rainbow. He would wish to see him again.]
[But a wish wouldn't make that real. That's what Siffrin is saying.]
Do they feel the same way? [A pause.] It reminds me of...Falsch.
[who]
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They don't. Everyone... is going their own separate ways, after it ends.
[ (They're all going to leave you.
With smiles on their faces, happy, eager to get on with their lives.) ]
Who's Falsch?
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[He thinks of the Mole Troupe. Ah, how he remembers it. The ever-gloomy Falsch, trying to grasp that beautiful image of the past.]
I know how that feels.
[He left the Troupe, too. They all did. They all had to.]
...An actor I met. He lived in the darkness. In the underground, more specifically. He used to be part of a group...the Mole Troupe. But one day, it all felt apart. And all he wanted...was to reunite them all once again. To have his Mole Troupe on that stage. He thought he was abandoned, and he tried to put together his Troupe with people he found...like me.
no subject
You understand this Falsch very much. Your throat is tight, and you don't want to hear anything else. All you want... is to stay with them. Is that too much to ask? To be together?
To never be alone again?) ]
... Did you have fun? In his troupe.
[ (Why is always an actor? Because you're all so, so good at being someone that others want to be around? Because you can pretend to be good, to be selfless, to be kind and considerate when really-- really you're selfish and disgusting and a monster, a monster that monsters run from, one they don't see as human because how could you be if you have nothing that proves you are.) ]
no subject
[He wasn't very good. They all weren't very good, save for Falsch, really, and he already had the experience. But that wasn't the point, he thinks. He may know much, but even he knows the worth of something isn't measured in how many people clapped.]
[He smiles, warmly.]
But I look back on it, and...I was happy. And I was happy to be part of it. Even if it didn't last forever.
no subject
[ Siffrin watches his reflection in the mirror. Wonders what everyone else sees, to make them speak so kindly. To miss him. To want to apologize, to say he doesn't deserve it.
(Was Falsch frustrated? Sad? Or satisfied?
You wonder what that feels like. Satisfaction.) ]
... And Falsch? How did it end with him?
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[Good and bad. By wonderful actors and horrible ones. There must be something to it. He always felt like more like the audience. Everyone else plays out their lives.]
[He's catching up. He didn't find that prism-color performance, yet.]
Mm, him? He's a drunkard, and a man doing whatever job he could. Even strange things. I'm sure he returned to that, but... [But. He thinks about it for a moment.] From our belowground experience...I think he got what he wanted. He had a play, you see. Now he knows what to do with it. He can be above ground, now. In the light.
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And yet, you're once again readying for the stage. Ever on call, aren't you, Siffrin.
... Lucky Falsch.) ]
If he can, then he definitely did. And you helped with that, Sariel. I'm sure he's happy you were part of it too.
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Well, I hope the same will be for you. That you will see the-
[But that's right.]
[He won't do that.]
[Something crumples in his face with a noise in his throat, and he doesn't continue. How awful. He never thought about it. He didn't want to. And now, being reminded of it, it just makes him feel sick.]
no subject
(You decide to tell Sariel Chara's thoughts.) ]
You know... I'm pretty hard to get rid of. The King was angry too, that time and time again I was the reason he never succeeded.
[ It was funny. It didn't end up being too funny, but at the moment (you felt so powerful). ]
Chara thinks that I'll come back somehow. We all will. Because The Witch doesn't have a need to permanently kill us off, if he's looking to draw on our feelings -- that's a waste of resources. [ ... ] I probably won't see you again, or at least not for a while... but I won't be gone forever. Probably.
[ It's only a theory. And it might do more harm than good, but...
... Siffrin doesn't like the way that Sariel looks, right now. Feels helpless to do anything but parrot the words of a peer. Someone who's been through what they have, who they trust. ]